I saw this topic on another blog and thought it would be interesting to elaborate and see what other people thought. Let’s be real, there are some men that could pass for women once they have their makeup and outfits on. Have you ever seen RuPaul’s Drag Race? The big question is, should a transgender male or female feel obligated to tell a potential mate that they were not born that way?
Let’s say you feel that they have an obligation to do so, when is the appropriate time? Should they tell them when they first meet or can they wait until the first date? Or maybe you think that they shouldn’t have to. Why not? I wanted to discuss this because it is becoming more and more prevalent in our society. More people are bravely stepping out and being who they really feel that they are - no matter what type of “equipment” they have.
In doing research, I found that the term transgender means one’s gender identity (what they view themselves as) NOT a person’s assigned sex (what they were born as). So this means that a person can consider themselves transgender even if they have not had any surgical operations. In my opinion, I think it is only fair that you disclose this information as soon as you feel like the friendship is turning into something more.
Dropping a bomb like that 20 seconds into the conversation would surely be uncomfortable but I could not in good conscience hang out with someone or go on dates with them while keeping a secret that big. Some people believe that they shouldn’t have to say anything at all. I just don’t think that is right.
That is called leading someone on, which is morally wrong, and no one wants to be led on in any way. Sooo…
What do you think? Would you want to know during the first conversation? Have you experienced this before?
Like this:
Tags: revealing, right vs wrong, transgender
It depends. With a romantic partner, if they didn’t already know from my work and writing, I would tell her before we got physical. However, I don’t think it needs to be disclosed on first meeting. If you don’t hit it off and there is no chance of intimacy, why give that much personal information?
I figure my body and medical history are “need to know” for certain people-my doctor, lover, family. Neighbors, coworkers, the teller at the bank, etc., don’t need this private information.
Yes, that’s true. I agree with you in that when you start feeling like there is a possibility things may be going somewhere then you should figure out a way to let that person know.
Have you ever had to do that before?
So far, no. Everyone has known about me being trans. And, only once has the fact that I didn’t come out of the factory with the right equipment been a deal-breaker. Personality seems to outweigh the physical more often than not.