I had just logged into my Facebook account to respond to some old messages as and when I saw a discussion taking place about women and how we put “good guys” in the friend zone.
Of course the discussion had been started by a guy and his issue was that women always put men in the friend zone for superficial reasons only to later regret it because that man they ignored turned out to be a good guy in a world full of bad guys who would’ve treated her better than the current person she’s with…or something like that.
I’m going to take a chance here and address the friend zone once and for all – from a woman’s point of view since we’re always the ones doing it and never get friend zoned ourselves. *rolls eyes*
I think the one thing that people don’t want to admit or maybe they aren’t considering about the friend zone is that you could be there because the person simply isn’t attracted to you. It’s rather egotistical of a person to think that someone is obligated to give them a chance just because they’re a “good” catch or whatever the case may be.
There have been times that I’ve met some nice guys that would make wonderful boyfriends and husbands – but for someone else. Me deciding not to pursue anything with them had absolutely nothing to do with them being “too nice” (that’s often used in arguments about friend zones) or not popular or whatever. It was totally because I wasn’t attracted to them in that way and I don’t believe attraction is something that should be forced. I either want you or I don’t. There’s nothing to think about.
While I’m at it, I also want to touch on a few other points…
1. Let’s stop thinking that the friend zone is a bad thing. I understand that when you’re attracted to someone and want to pursue a relationship with them, it can be bummy when they don’t take the bait…I get it…but consider that many relationships are built on friendships first and your time may come later down the line.
2. WOMEN GET FRIEND ZONED TOO! I’m so tired of seeing guys whine about a woman not wanting to date them. It happens to us just as much. Hell, I’ve been put in the friend zone and even though those same guys came back at some point or another, it still happened. So stop making it seem like men are the only ones who deal with this.
3. Keep in mind that you can sometimes friend zone yourself. If you have an interest in someone, tell them as soon as you get a chance. Be honest about your intentions because no one has the power to read minds…at least not for real, for real. If you “like” someone but try to play it cool and be just their friend, it’s your fault if they feel uncomfortable when you try to switch it up on them.
4. Don’t be a sore loser. Take the friend zone like a man (or a woman) and decide whether or not you’re going to stay there because you know…it’s up to you if you do. You have the power to walk away from any relationship or arrangement that doesn’t give you what you need. Whining about it on social media makes you less attractive to the next person.
5. What’s meant to be will always be. If you and someone you have an interest in don’t click and nothing ever came out of it, then think of it as a blessing. You don’t have to waste your time and emotions on someone who isn’t meant to be in your life. On the flipside, like I said in point one, your time may come later but have peace in knowing that the current time wasn’t right.
Now I don’t have any advice or insight on what to do if you are unhappily in the friend zone right now…I’m working on finding the answer to that myself LOL.
Share your thoughts with me in the comment section! Have you ever been in the friend zone?