The Jessica Diaries

The Jessica Diaries: Thankful For The Damage

This weekend while I was working on my PR binder, I listened to almost all of the albums I have saved to my Spotify account. Throughout my listening session, I listened to Chris Brown’s album Exclusive. I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard it or not, but there’s a song on the album called “Damage” where Chris talks about all the damage he caused to his girl.

Girl you know that I love.
Girl I love you.
With her that was lust..
Shouldn’t have happened
I know I messed up…
One phone call started this whole thing now…
look at the damage.. damage..
look at the damage..

Damage.. damage that I caused you.
I know I broke your heart, ’cause I did you wrong.
Look at the damage, look at the damage that I caused…

I remember during my days of severe brokenness I would listen to that song and less than a minute into the track, my eyes would be clouded with tears.

I would think about all the hurt that I’d been through in relationships. Some of the hurt I experienced took years to recover from. There were times as and when I resented my exes and times when I felt sorry for myself. I would think, “I’m a good girl…how did this happen to me?”

Pain-is-weakness-leaving-the-body

Now that I’m more mature, I’m actually thankful for the damage.

I’m thankful because the damage made me stronger. It’s so cliche, but it really does make you stronger. We have to know and understand that life is not full of sunshine – there will be rainy days. There will be disappointments. There will be broken promises. There will be lies. When you deal with those things, they’re preparing you for the next chapter in your life. God is building you up.

I recognize the bright side of my damage:

  • Even though I am hurt by someone’s actions, words or behavior I know that once I’m on the other side of the hurt I will be fine.
  • It gets easier to walk away from bad situations.
  • Because I’ve been through it, I can help someone else get through it (the best part).
  • I can fully and genuinely appreciate the good people in my life.
  • I know how to love someone delicately and gently because I don’t want them to feel the hurt I’ve felt.
  • I’m stronger than I was before.

When I look at it, dare I say it all turned out to be worth it. :)

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