I’ll never forget talking with my pastor in his office one afternoon after we’d discussed the logistics of me designing a website for him. I’d asked him about his conversations with God and how to know as and when God is speaking to you. He left me with a very simple statement that I often refer back to and will remember for the rest of my life. He said:
“If God tells you once, he will tell you again.”
The way God responds is so amazing and one of the reasons why having a personal relationship with Him will supersede anything anyone could ever tell you to do. God’s way of speaking directly to us is also why I’m very cautious of people who always tell others what God told them about someone other than their own self. But that’s another conversation for another day.
Immediately after talking with my pastor, I began to ask God for confirmation on things I’d thought that he told me and I still practice this even now. No matter what the situation is or who it involves, I always ask God to confirm it by telling me the exact same thing that He told me before. It’s just like the concept of God’s fingerprints that I learned from one of my favorite books, The Dream Giver.
So when two different people – one of my best friends and the other, a stranger – both told me that I had to “know my personnel” during the same week, I knew it was God speaking to me.
I consider myself a very fair person and I like to not only see the good in people, but I also try to show people grace and give them the benefit of the doubt. While this is a great trait to have, it often leaves me upset with myself because many times I go against my intuition and deal with people based off of the good things that I know about them while overlooking the bad things that could potentially affect me. Even if I’ve been warned about them, I still defend them because I just don’t want to believe everything I’ve heard. At some point though, you cannot ignore what you hear if the same story comes from a wide range of people…especially if some of these people have no dealings with whoever you’re having mixed feelings about.
There’s this thing called vibes.
The best description of vibes that I’ve heard was by Jamaican reggae artist Chronixx in the Noisey Jamaica documentary. He talked about people and the way they do everything from how they look, dress, speak, etc. being part of their vibrations. The vibrations (or vibes) you feel from someone is their energy and it often tells more about them than anything they can ever say or do.
Think about it. A bad person can pretend to be good when they need to be. It’s no different from watching your language around someone you respect when in reality you have a potty mouth and use the F-bomb every other word of your normal conversation. Same concept.
Vibes are synonymous with your intuition and for me when someone’s energy is off, I tend to be distant with them or I’m a much more cautious version of myself. I don’t say much or I act really awkward because my spirit just doesn’t agree with theirs. As much as that’s something you can’t ignore, I have…and regretfully so.
I had the hugest life change ever to happen a few weeks ago (hence the hiatus on this blog — more about that later) and the things that followed from people speculating and having conversations about me when I’m not in their presence, to the response of people who weren’t really thinking about me but themselves and how they felt about it revealed that people aren’t always who they claim to be.
This was a prime opportunity for me to re-evaluate who I call friends, who I am associated with and who I can tell things to in confidence. Or in other words, I began to learn my personnel.
Here are some tips that I can share with you to help you do the same.
Don’t ignore the vibrations.
Vibes don’t lie. Granted someone could be having a bad day or they may be going through something that affects their behavior or energy so bad vibes can sometimes pass. However if you consistently feel bad vibes or negative energy from someone in different settings or regarding different situations, do not ignore them.
Vibrations + Consistent Behavior = Character
One thing about me, if you truly know me you know that I am mostly a positive, happy person no matter what I’m going through. I have my days but I’ve been repeatedly told great things about my spirit. This is something I don’t always think about when the situation is reversed and the spirit is negative. I’ve felt bad/negative energy and I’ve been exposed to a person’s consistent pattern of talking about people, judging people or interjecting their opinions about things that don’t involve them and instead of realizing they could do it to me, I thought I was exempt. Wrong. As a Christian, I show people grace and I understand that everyone is a work in progress but now I’ve learned that it can be done from a distance that’s safe for me. You can too.
Does your spirit agree with theirs? Yes? Then that’s all that matters.
On the flip side, people can tell you bad things about someone and you’ve never experienced them. This is simply when some spirits agree and others don’t. I know people who other folks cannot stand but I love them dearly. Nothing is wrong with that. You vibe with who you vibe with and as long as you feel comfortable around them, then it’s fine. Of course you should consider other perspectives if it’s coming from people you trust but ultimately who you choose to attach to is totally up to you.