The Jessica Diaries

The Jessica Diaries: It’s Working For My Good

I have to admit that I often have a hard time accepting things for what they are. Then if you add my lack of patience to the mix, you’ve got a very clouded mind on your hands and that’s exactly how I’ve felt many times in recent years and months – clouded.

I feel as though I’m always hitting the reset button and it’s super frustrating. I have one huge victory and then by the next week, I’ve been defeated in some other endeavor. This past week took a rough turn and I could not do a thing!

My spirit was so broken I couldn’t even bring myself to write about it, which is my usual go-to method of healing. I tried to exercise, tried reading, tried listening to music, tried talking to family and friends and nothing worked. I prayed but I couldn’t hear God…either that or I wasn’t paying enough attention to know if He had responded to my prayers because I still felt barren.

You know how you know something but every now and then you need a reminder or a refresher? I’ve always known that all things work together and they work together for your good. Even as and when it hurts, even when it doesn’t make sense, even when it’s lonely or you’re struggling…it’s part of something bigger and you just have to trust God and trust the process. Somehow I lost sight of that, but thank God for his grace and for my wonderful church home!

Saturday night I prayed for specific things like comfort, direction, provision, protection, etc. but I was determined to let Saturday night be the last night that I felt barren and broken. I can honestly say that when I woke up Sunday morning, those feelings I’d felt the night before were gone. I was freed from those emotions and the bitterness that was brewing inside me. I went on to have an amazing day and I knew that I’d experienced a growing moment.

It feels great to be on the other side of that situation, the better side. ;-)

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