Glo-ri-fy: to make glorious by bestowing honor, praise, or admiration
After having our usual “relationship talk” with a friend of mine, I began to wonder how, why and as and when society began glorifying the side-chick. It seems like there has been this “side-chick revolution” in the last year or so where more and more women are becoming comfortable with – and sadly, proud of – being someone’s mistress. Playing second best, the jumpoff. The other option…you know the rest.
I’ve been the side-chick twice in my life (that I know of). Once, I didn’t even know I was the other woman until like four months later; and the other time, I was fully aware from the start. Looking back on those days, I can honestly say the reason I was so OK and sometimes very flippant about it was because my head wasn’t right. I was immature and in my mind, I thought that there was a possibility that I could have him to myself (I REALLY liked him). Looking back, I thought that was a way to win him over. Dumb right?
Not only did I ruin my image/reputation with him, *surprise, surprise* I never became his girlfriend. Oh…and let me add that my karma came back and bit me in the ass. Big time.
But I digress…let me get back to the point of this post. The point is that being a side-chick is nothing to be proud of. It makes you look bad regardless of what the arrangement is. I’m stating my opinion having been on both sides of the fence. I know plenty of people that are currently playing the side-chick role and are completely fine with it. I’m not knocking anyone…do what you do, just playing Devil’s advocate here.
Side-chicks these days have begun to get real bitter when their efforts have gone unnoticed. They get really upset and then try and put the man on Front Street by exposing his infidelity to the world…or their world (i.e. Karrine Steffans). They do whatever they can to hurt the man and his woman…but why? Because they are hurt. This is definitely not the correct route to take and all side-chicks don’t do this; but the problem is you end up hurting an innocent person – the woman. How side-chicks feel their issue is with his woman and not him, baffles me. But anyway!
Point is – if you are gonna be a side-chick, PLAY YOUR POSITION and don’t brag about it – and know that when you do find real love, there is a strong possibility that karma will rear its (sometimes) ugly head. Been there, done that, can write a book about it.
Does this mean that side-chicks have low self-esteem? No. Does this mean they are bad people? Um…no…well, maybe…IDK! Relationships these days are just so challenging and difficult to figure out. Sometimes a man looks to other women because he’s being neglected at home and other times it’s just because he wanted to. You just never know these days, folks will tell you anything! But one thing is certain…
The woman is definitely not always the one to blame.
At the end of the day, no one wants to be alone all of their life. We all have that longing for companionship and want to eventually have a family and a strong relationship. The only way we all can get there is if we talk about it and figure this thing out.
Everyone is on a different life schedule. We all aren’t ready for the same thing at the same time, in the same way. BUT we should respect each other’s differences. Be honest. If you aren’t ready to be committed, the best thing you can do is let it be known and find someone who is OK with that or vice versa. Then, everyone’s happy!
Let’s open the floor for conversation, put those hard to talk about topics on the table and come to some sort of conclusion. I’m up for the discussion…are you? :-)