Signs That Your Ex Wants to Get Back Together

Written by Laura West

I would love to say that relationships are easy, but we all know that’s not true. They’re a lot of work, and some of them require more effort than others. Sometimes you have to put so much effort in that you start feeling like it’s not worth it.

So you end the relationship.

But none of us are perfect, and we can occasionally begin to feel like we’ve made a mistake. I know I’ve had second thoughts about plenty of relationship decisions. And sometimes I’ve had to admit that I was wrong. Realizing you shouldn’t have broken up with someone is a huge shock, though, and it can be difficult to fix. You might want to get back together, but how can you tell if your ex wants to?

I’ve collected some hints to watch out for that might just give away whether your ex wishes to get back with you. They’re not foolproof, but they can give you a good idea of what your ex is thinking and if you have a chance.

They Are Actively Trying to Get Back Together

Some hints and less subtle clues and more flashing neon signs. If your ex is actively attempting to get you back, you know they want to reconnect. Maybe they’ve been contacting you, trying to apologize or running into you on purpose. If you’re not sure yet if you should get back together, you can use this behavior to help you decide. I’ve seen some people begging to get back with someone, and it’s not attractive. They might want to get back together with you. But if they’re really desperate it might say something about their self-worth. It could be kinder to both you and them to let them go. On the other hand, it could be a clue that you have made a mistake. If you both miss each other and regret the breakup, maybe it shouldn’t have happened in the first place.




They Were Hurt By the Breakup

Getting a read on someone’s feelings can be hard. But it’s important to know how the breakup has affected your ex. If they seem indifferent toward you and are getting on with their life, it’s unlikely they want to get back together. Perhaps they knew the relationship was over just as much as you did, only they have no regrets. However, if they’re feeling hurt and angry, you know that you still meant something to them. People don’t hate (or say they hate) anyone that they don’t care about. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re still invested in the relationship. They might just genuinely hate you.


They Respond Well to Contact

It’s difficult to know how someone is feeling about you if you have no contact with them. Of course, you could stalk them on Facebook, but that’s a little sad. Plus, you can end up having no idea what to think. I don’t recommend using their social media activity to try and guess what they think of you. Instead, you can reach out and attempt to get in touch with them. If you’re not sure what to say, you could try these texts to get your ex back. They’re not all incredibly forward texts that make it obvious you want to get back together. Just reaching out an olive branch is a good place to start.


Joi Ito


They Contact You First

Sometimes, your ex might reach out to you first. This can be an encouraging sign, providing they’re not contacting you to yell at you. If they’re the first one to reach out, you know they’re thinking of you. They might be actively trying to get you back, but they could also just want to be friends. Pay attention to what they’re saying to you to work out what they’re looking for.


They Ask Others About You

If you have mutual friends, your ex might be asking them about you. If they’re looking to hear about how you’re doing without them, they’re still interested. It’s possible that they want to know that you’re miserable without them. This might be a sign that they want to see that you’re miserable because they can’t stand you. On the other hand, it could indicate that they want to know that the breakup is affecting you as much as it is them. They probably don’t want to hear all about how you’re perfectly happy and moving on with your life.


They’re Working on Their Flaws

Often, people begin to change their behavior after a breakup. This can be because they recognize where they went wrong during the relationship. They now want to change themselves, either in the hope of getting back together or just as a personal endeavor. If you can see that your ex is trying to become a better person, perhaps they’re hoping to win you back in the near future.


They Haven’t Come to Get Their Things

Swapping your personal belongings is one the things that makes the end of a relationship seem final. You might go to their house to collect your things, they might come to you or you could meet somewhere neutral. If you invite them to come and get their possessions, and it takes them a long time, it could be a sign. They’re reluctant to do something that cuts the last ties you have to each other.


You Have Reconnected Since the Breakup

Have you been unable to avoid seeing each other since you broke up? Most people recommend not seeing your ex for a while afterward. But sometimes you can’t help gravitating toward each other. Maybe you’ve slept together since breaking up or spent hours in each other’s company. If neither of you can stay away from each other, it’s a pretty good sign that you could end up back together. Perhaps it’s time to have a talk about where your relationship is going.


The end of a relationship doesn’t always mean it’s over for good. If you think you’ve made a mistake, there could still be time to rescue the relationship and get back together.

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