I’ve had this topic request in my inbox for quite some time now. This particular reader wanted to know the dos and don’ts of dating and how she can make it to an exclusive relationship. Her problem is that she can never get past the “talking” stage.
I struggled with how to best answer this because I have been in an exclusive relationship for years so I’m a little rusty on how it even started. I know that I was always myself and we just had (and still do) great chemistry. We just fit together, if that makes sense – it’s really natural.
I surveyed a few of my friends who were single to get their opinions on what to do and what not to do as and when dating. These friends varied in age, race and culture but had very similar responses which tells me that ultimately, we pretty much all want the same thing out of a potential relationship.
Before I go into their responses, I’ll start with what I think:
- Honesty is the best policy. If you are dating in the hopes of starting a relationship with this person, let them know. The key to dating successfully is to be open and honest from the start.
- Don’t try too hard. Just be yourself. Sometimes, when people try too hard they only end up pushing themselves further into the “friend zone”.
Here are responses I collected:
- Don’t text too much – call some.
- Be polite. Pay on the first few dates.
- Act interested, but not overpowering.
- Compliment on anything positive, not just looks.
- Don’t come off as boastful or act like the woman should be grateful you took her out.
- Be appreciative.
- Let the man do most of the work in the beginning, but it’s appropriate to be more into the relationship, even pay after a few dates.
- Communicate! Don’t be passive agressive if something is bothering you – it never solves anything.
- Do small nice things – anything you’re good at – like cooking or picking up something you know he likes.
- Just show who you are.
- Don’t be jealous over stupid, silly things.
- Date around until you’re committed!
- Act classy and ladylike; show interest in what he has to say, but don’t be afraid to speak your own opinions.