Sex, Love & Relationships

Koni’s Quips: A Thousand Miles

longdistance

There are a lot of different thoughts on long distance relationships. I know many people who were (or still are) in them, people who never want to be in one, and people who would prefer to be in one instead of a local relationship.

Some people even define long distance differently. For me, it’s being with someone who is over an hour or two away. For some of my friends in bigger areas such as Atlanta or the DMV, it’s being with someone over 30 minutes to an hour away. Some of them may have been making a joke about traffic and commuting in their areas though.

I’ve been in some long distance “situationships” and I’m currently in a long distance relationship, but we’re not a thousand miles apart. This isn’t some “Yeah, my boyfriend decided to go to college out of state while I stay in Mississippi” relationship though. Our relationship actually began with distance. I won’t go into much detail, but we were friends first. We chatted about my job hunt and how I was looking for work in Atlanta. And since I was planning on moving there before I even started talking to him in a romantic way, I look at having a relationship with him as a perk.

But anyway, times get tough and as I continue to look for a job in his area, we have to find ways to cope since we can’t be around each other as often as we want. So here are some things to remember.

1. Communicate!
This section is the longest because it’s the most important and sets the tone. You have to find ways to communicate effectively. Yes, there are phone calls and texts/sexts (hey, I’m not judging) or even taking it old school and writing each other letters, but since you’re not having a lot of in-person interaction, you have to be creative. Luckily, we can change it up by making use of the amazing technology available these days.

We all know about video chatting clients like FaceTime, Google Hangout and Skype. All of these are great to use because you can see the other person’s face…even if it freezes due to a bad connection from time to time. There are also other things you can do like creating a room on TogetherTube and watching videos together or making use of new apps available for long distance couples.

Sending random photos is also pretty fun. Not only do I make good use of my conceited moments by sending him “I just really like how my hair turned out today” selfies, I also send him something that makes me think of him while I’m out and about. He does the same.

2. You get to value your “me” time.
Since you’re not around each other that often, you get to time for yourself. So while he’s at work, I take time to play around on Pinterest, apply for jobs of course and read or watch “The Office” on Netflix. It’s also a good time to look into new hobbies and side projects or even take some classes.

3. You become better at planning things.
Every now and then, you’re going to get together for dates or private time. So a lot of time will go into finding a weekend where both of you are free, who is going to visit who, how you’ll get there and what you’ll do. This is also where communicating comes back in.

You want to have a fun, stress-free time together since it’s like a mini-vacation. Your time together doesn’t have to be completely planned out, but I believe it’s good to do things together so you can create memories. That way, the only thing you’ll have to deal with is the anticipation of seeing your significant other again.

4. Be committed and stay positive!
Some people say they don’t work, but I believe they can if you are willing to put in the work. Stay in contact and if there are any problems, work through them. Be understanding of any insecurity or other issues that may come up. Miss them like crazy? Text them. If you two can’t talk, look at pictures of you two together. I’m not worried about sounding corny so I’ll admit I look at our pictures all the time. It helps.

A long distance relationship is just like any other relationship, but with a little extra work. If you’re in one, I hope it all works out for you. And as for me? Maybe I’ll get to do a follow up post about moving for love.

What are your thoughts on long distance relationships? Feel free to share!

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