Knowing Your Zone: How To Avoid Being Just A Friend


I was watching MTV’s Friendzone last night. Not because I enjoy the show or anything, it was the only thing on at two in the morning.

Anyway, the show is basically about a person who wants to tell their best friend how they like them more then just friends and how they want to be with them and stuff. They pretend they are going on a date and ask their friend to coach them, as and when in reality, the date is for the friend all along. On most of the episodes I’ve watched, the friend usually tells them they don’t feel the same way. Then the person who planned everything out goes off crying or is depressed. I find it all funny…in a cruel kind of way.

All of these people have the same thing in common. They are COWARDS!

Had they been open from the jump, they probably would have had a better chance with their friend. But naw. They want to wait years and months just to tell their best friend how they feel. After a while, you’re put in the friend zone. That’s brother/sister territory. There ain’t no coming back after that…unless you’re lucky, and we both know there aren’t too many lucky people in the world.


So after watching the show, I’ve decided to make a list of things you can do to avoid being just a friend. Feel free to takes notes.

Tip #1. Be Honest From the Jump: This is the simplest thing to do. Being honest about how you feel early will help you avoid pain later. There is no need to go around crushing on someone for years without them knowing. This isn’t elementary school! This is real life. People always say they don’t want to ruin their friendship by telling their feelings, but if you tell them in the beginning, there isn’t much for you to ruin. Plus, your friend will appreciate you being honest with them.

Tip #2. Be a Little Thirsty: It’s alright to be thirsty. Especially in this situation. I’m not saying you need to follow them around and be under their armpit 24/7. And I’m not saying you need to lurk their Twitter and Facebook either. That will get you dropped. I’m saying it’s alright to flirt. And make your flirting obvious. Let them know you are feeling them. For example, if they are talking to you about a date they just went on, tell em “Look baby, I don’t even know why you wasting your time with scrubs like that, You know I got ya.” If that doesn’t get them, at least you have them smiling.

Tip #3. Get close with the Momma: It’s simple. If the momma likes you, she will push for you. You see it all the time on TV shows, mothers telling their children who they should be dating. I’m not saying the mom will be the difference maker, but if they are constantly telling their son/daughter “You should date your friend_______. He/she is such a nice person. Y’all look nice together. Y’all would make nice babies. Everybody already thinks y’all dating,” that will plant the idea in the back of their mind. So at least now they are thinking of the idea. Plus, things parents say usually sticks more then others.

Tip #4. Spice it Up: I’m not talking about a friends night out. Spice it up a little bit. Cook them dinner. Light candles. Tell them how important they are to you and how much y’alls friendship means to you. Be completely honest. Do something for them you know they would appreciate. If you can leave a lasting impression on them, you pretty much have won the battle. Make that one night special.

Tip #5. Know when to Give Up: Tip #1 is the most important rule, but tip #5 is the rule you need not forget. Look, it ain’t gonna work all the time. Sometimes it’s just better for y’all to stay friends. You need to know and realize that. A lot of people just don’t know when to give up. If they have told you they are not interested, why in the hell are you still chasing them? I understand the whole thing of not giving up too early, but some people take it to far. There is no need cause pain to yourself. Just accept it and be done. If they change their mind they’ll come back. And if not…at least you still have a good friend.

I hope these tips have been helpful to you. Even if you don’t use them yourself, pass them on to a friend in need because everybody has a friend who just doesn’t get it. SMH.

Stay breezy folks.



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