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I Needed That

the-jessica-diaries-first-dateHave you ever seen the movie Yes Man starring Jim Carrey? If you haven’t, it’s about a man who says no to everything – to people at work, having fun with his friends and romance. Then one night after attending a self-help seminar, he challenges himself to say yes to everything for a certain time frame.

Although I wasn’t as bad as Carrey’s character, I’ve had a laser focus for the past year or so. I’ve been working really hard to continuously grow my business and outside of maybe one or two people I haven’t been very interested in finding love. Mostly because I thought I already had it and it would work itself out, but also because I hate the idea of going through the motions of getting to know someone only to eventually be turned off (weeks or months later) by something that comes along with them. I’m also very particular about the man I want to date and because I’m not desperate, I don’t just hop on every opportunity that is presented to me.

Well, I changed. 

Not drastically, but I began saying yes too.

No matter how old I feel sometimes, I’m young. Very young. And I’m single with no kids! I’ll only be 26 once and I don’t want to look back on my single, kid-less days and feel regret because I wasted time waiting on someone and it turned out to be a bust or because I spent all my time working and never let anyone in out of fear that they would get too close or I’d get too attached and then they’ll hurt me and all that other crazy stuff that keeps you from being with someone.

So, I went on a first date with a man who spotted me at an event I’d worked and decided he wanted to get to know me and it was nice. I like the fact that he’s several years older than me and he has taken the lead since we were first introduced. He travels a lot which is ideal for me because I enjoy my personal time to do things that keep me from losing myself in someone. While I don’t have any expectations for him and I’m not thinking about what we could be, I know that going on the date was something I needed.

I needed to see that there are other attractive men besides the ones I’ve been stuck on.

I needed to experience someone putting effort and energy into me and not the other way around. (I didn’t have to plan anything…he told me where to be and as and when to be there and I loved it!)

I needed to feel free and liberated like I felt this weekend when I finally acted like the single woman I am.

While dating can be a big pain in the ass, it’s also fun when done in moderation and no bad word is involved (key point I just made). I’m not sure when we’ll see each other again but I got the message the universe was sending me….I have to live life and not worry about anything other than pleasing God and making myself happy. I’ve held on to a lot of things (and people) during the last few years of my life and sometimes you just have to let go and face reality. For me, letting go and facing reality meant moving on and not allowing myself to get into another standstill because I’m banking on what could be. I wrote in a previous post that sometimes you have to look at the now…not the future, especially if it’s something that isn’t changing.

Like me, you may need to be the one who changes. Start saying yes! :)

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