How much easier would dating be if we had a cheat sheet for our significant other? Of course over time you’ll learn all there is to know about your boo, their likes, dislikes and how they like to do things but what about in the beginning? It can be hard to get things right as and when you all barely know each other. For example, I went on a date once where we went and got drinks but we later found out that neither one of us likes to drink at all and we basically sipped off the same drinks from the time we got them until we left the bar over an hour later LOL. What a waste of time! We could’ve gone somewhere and created a memory for the both of us and been more comfortable while doing so.
I got the idea to do a dating cheat sheet from one of my favorite bloggers, Necole Bitchie. Her friends actually created her sheet but I decided to do my own because my friends would embarrass me LOL. So, here it goes!
My Love Language
If you haven’t read “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, I suggest you do so. It’s a great read…I think I may even write a more detailed article about it later. Like Necole, let me share what my love languages are first. I don’t have just one language; I have two – Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. While I feel loved if my partner is doing any of the five languages, those two indicate what makes me feel loved the most.
1. I’m not an open book. This is probably very hard to believe but even though I share a lot of my life through this website and The Jessica Diaries, I don’t open up very easily. I have to really trust that my innermost thoughts, feelings and experiences are safe with you first.
2. Take it slow. Trying to get my panties off after we’ve gone out a time or two is the quickest way to never spend any time with me again. Don’t come off strong, let me make it known that I want you to touch me. Court me, take your time getting to know me.
3. My career is important to me. My career is at the top of my priority list so please understand that there will be times that our schedules may conflict often, even if it is the weekend or a time when most people are not working. Not only that, you should be aware of what I do…check my website every now and then to let me know that you care and support me. The worst thing you can say is that you’ve never looked at it.
4. Love is important too. While my career is important, love is important in my life as well. So, even if we can’t spend time when you may want to because of my work, know that I will make it up to you in a major way to thank you for being so supportive and understanding. Also, I know how to make time for those who are important to me so you’ll get that time eventually.
5. VIP sections, fancy cars, bottle poppin’, trendy clothes and lots of followers and likes on Instagram do not impress me. I am attracted to a man with substance…a man who puts thought into how he handles me. Writing me a letter, sending me random funny texts to make me laugh and making time for me when you have free time instead of always being with the homies or hitting the road is a better way to my heart than offering me things that money can buy.
6. Keep me guessing (in a good way). Being spontaneous, taking the initiative to plan a date, surprising me with something I’d like or with a unique outing (like rock climbing or a picnic in the park) and traveling with me are ways to win my heart.
7. Show me affection. Once we’ve gotten comfortable with one another, don’t be afraid to hug me and kiss me, rub my hair (my favorite), hold my hand while we watch a movie or while we’re cuddling and in mid-conversation. Even if I don’t initiate it or look like it’s something I want at the time – I do. There’s never a wrong time to show me affection. :)
8. Have a plan. If you don’t have a plan in life or your own goals, dreams and ambitions – never mind this list, keep it moving baby. I’m a dreamer and a go-getter and I need my man to be one too. I’ll be your number one fan and supporter.
9. Call me or FaceTime me (even better than a call when we can’t be near each other). Texting is cool, I like to text, but nothing beats hearing your voice and FaceTiming me has this way of brightening my day so much.
10. Be open to new things. Try new things with me, I love trying new foods, visiting new places and exploring life on all levels. Don’t try to keep our relationship in a box – we can have so much fun together.
11. Have confidence. I work with and around lots of men, who sometimes try me, but I’m extremely loyal and I don’t stray. Be confident in your position as my man…I’ll want you with me when I’m attending events and doing different projects sometimes and you can’t be so jealous to where you interfere with me getting work done.
12. Don’t let me run away. I get cold feet when I realize that I love someone and I’ve gotten totally vulnerable in the relationship. It scares the shit out of me and it makes me want to run, take a step back, get some space and all the other words that describe running from a situation. But if you love me back, don’t let me run away. Hold on and fight for me (cause I’ll definitely fight for you) and you’ll have the best thing that ever happened to you by your side.
That was so fun! Please share your dating cheat sheet in the comment section so I can see if anyone else is as loveable as I am LOL :)