“A person’s worth in this world is estimated according to the value they put on themselves.”
– Jean De La Bruyere
Yesterday I was given a reality check. I’ve been selling myself short in so many areas of my life: work, love, and spirituality to name a few. I’ve been accepting things just because I felt like I had to, all the while knowing deep down that I was better than what I was receiving.
Time after time I’ve found myself giving more than I was getting, going through the motions hoping that situations would get better and you guessed it – I’m disappointed every single time.
For instance, I have an almost full-time job (I don’t quite work 40 hours per week) and I am severely underpaid. I’ve held my bachelor’s degree for a little over two years and I received my master’s degree in June. The average salary for someone with my experience, education and all the awesomeness I bring to the table is in the mid $70K range. I don’t even wanna tell you how far away I am from that number.
But here’s the kicker – I’ve never demanded (except maybe once) more than I’m earning of my employer. He says all the time that he knows I’m a great employee and he doesn’t want to see me leave the job – I believe him – but he never offers me more money. Why? Because I’m busting my ass for the pennies I’m currently earning. If it’s good enough for me, it’s wonderful for him.
I have to ask myself:
“Jessica, why are you not asking for more money or looking for a better job?” (My past answer: Well…I don’t think he’ll give me a raise anyway and what’s the point of looking for another job? I want to work for myself and nobody is going to hire me anyway…there are no jobs in Mississippi!”)
“What are you so afraid of?” (My past answer: I really don’t know. What if I never find another job that I really like? I’d rather just make the best of it and continue working on making my blog my main income source.”)
I woke up with a lot on my mind, and not just about work. For some reason it’s uncomfortable for me to ask for more. Something makes me feel guilty about it, like I should just be grateful for the things I have. That guilt turns to anger toward myself for setting my price so low after I realize it’s my own fault that these situations in my life are happening.
The moral of the story is, people treat you how you teach them to treat you. If all it takes is a text message arranging an in-house date for him to get the goodies, then that’s all you’ll ever get. If he doesn’t HAVE to commit to you to get what he wants, why would he? Even at work…if your employer knows you can be their workhorse for minimum wage, why would they just out of the blue offer you more money? You set yourself up for failure by waiting for a moment or a change that will never happen – until YOU change what you’re teaching them.
I’m challenging myself this week to put myself on that pedestal I deserve to be on. (Yeah I said it.) If you have been selling yourself short, I encourage you to do the same. ;-)