You’ve seen it. You’ve probably even experienced it. Somebody just a little too old to be doing what they’re doing. And it’s sad. Some people around us have a hard time growing up. And sometimes I understand. Growing up is hard. But after a certain amount of time, there should be something in you that clicks and makes you realize, “hey, I need to get it together.”
Cue the Rant
That guy with the braids who looks 40. The 30-year-old frat guy. 2 Chainz. These are all people that need a wake up call.
Lets start with the career college student. You guys are at the top of my gear grinders list. You go to a school, get comfortable and decide you never want to leave. I know some guys who were fifth year seniors when I got there. And they’re STILL there when I come back for my first homecoming as an alum. They go to school, pledge and decide college is home. They don’t want to go back to their hometown because they will become a nobody again. Come on homie, let it go. I understand you don’t want to go back to nothing but you can’t cling on to the past. If your neo’s neo’s neo’s have neo’s, you need to pack your bags and leave immediately. You’re no longer the cool guy on campus– you’re the creepy uncle.
Now I know there are exceptions to the guys from super small towns. If you move to a substantially bigger city going to college, I wouldn’t expect you to go back home. And all you guys that didn’t find yourself before college need to learn to grow up before time catches up with you and makes you. Trust me people, you do not want to peak in college.. because the fall thereafter hurts like hell.
Next up we have the fashionistas. You’ve seen them. You know them. Those guys whose wardrobes are immaculate. Who are as picky and particular with clothes as their women counterparts. They are always ahead of the curve in fashion, love to down other people because of their wardrobe, and know all the pet names of the new Jordans and Nikes. They have ‘Holy Grails’ (their favorite hard to find, ridiculously overpriced sneaker). These guys are the ones that get upset when a lot of people start liking a shoe or brand or style of clothing that was previously unheard of because if everyone knows about it it suddenly becomes uncool.
You guys REALLY piss me off and need to grow up.
You are too old to be that into something so insignificant. That was cool in high school. It started to get old in college. But you dudes are STILL on this ‘I’m fresher than you’ trip afterwards and work crappy jobs. But you know when the ‘breds’ come out. If you put half as much energy into your future (getting a job with a SALARY, owning property) as you do keeping up with the sneakerhead community you wouldn’t be 25 and have to wait til your next pay check from your $10 an hour job to get the new ‘cements’ that come out on Saturday.
And lastly, we got that super old guy that isn’t aware of exactly how old they are. Guys like 2Chainz with weird leather jump suits hopping around in a music video rapping terrible. My boy you 35. 35. That should be all I have to say. If you have gray hair, its time to let the braids go. As a matter of fact, if you’re over 18 it’s time to let the braids go. If you’re over 30, you need to be phasing urban clothing lines out of your closet. I saw a guy who is all of 37 wearing an YMCMB shirt.
And negro will you PLEASE pull your pants up?
I could go on all day, so let me stop. But fellas, take a long hard look at yourself. If either one of these describes you well then I’m sorry. You need to get your life together.
I’m done. Don’t forget to cue the Sir Charles.