No matter how hard you try, it’s pretty much impossible to go through life without ever being hurt. Unfortunately that painful emotion is something we all have to experience at one point or another but it’s how you recover that makes the difference in your life.
Nothing is more frustrating to me than being around someone who throws pity parties and finds comfort in being miserable. Instead of confronting the pain, they opt to try to run from it which only makes it worse and has the potential to create new issues. This keeps them from connecting with new people and can leave them feeling alone and empty inside. But here’s the catch – they’re the only person in control of that, which makes it very hard to be a guest at their pity party.
Does this remind you of someone you know? Are you holding on to pain from your past? No more excuses, here are a few ways to start the recovery process:
Acknowledge the hurt: The worst thing you can do when you’ve been hurt is to pretend that you’re not. It’s OK to feel pain if someone has wronged you or if you’ve lost a relative or your job, or whatever is causing the pain in your life.
Let it out: Bottled up emotions are not fun and you have to let them out (in safe way of course) before they start to consume you and affect your mood and/or behavior. One thing that helps me with this is writing. Whenever I feel intense hurt or anger or any type of negative emotion, one of the first things I do is pull out my pen and journal and begin writing. Another way I let those negative emotions out is by crying. You’d be surprised at what a good tear session can do for you. It’s also helpful to talk to someone you trust and who won’t judge you about the situation.
Decide on what you want: This is probably one of the most important steps in the recovery process. You have to make a decision about what you want after the hurt has happened and you’ve cleared your mind from letting those emotions out. Do you want to be better or do you want to keep allowing your hurt to make you miserable? The choice is yours.
Act on your decision: Once you decide that you want better, you have to commit to it. Take necessary action to help you find the source of your hurt and confront it. If a person caused you hurt, maybe setting up a sit down with them to discuss what happened will help you further recover. If something from your childhood is still plaguing you, a professional can help you deal with those sensitive issues. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – going to therapy is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. People who have been trained and equipped with techniques and exercises to help you deal with all kinds of baggage and damage are gifts from God (in my opinion). Oftentimes they can see what we can’t see and point us in the right direction. They also help you become accountable for your decisions and choosing to remain damaged.
I’m no life coach or anything but I’ve had my fair share of hurt and I know that these tips helped me become the best Jessica I’ve ever been. If you have any tips or would like to share your experience, don’t be shy! Let us know your thoughts in the comment section.