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Roderick Red

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Cue The Rant: Honesty Isn’t Always The Best Policy

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There’s a way to say everything and honesty is not always the best policy. One of the most important things I’m learning as I’m growing up is the right way to interact with people.

Cue the Rant!

I don’t believe people can truly handle real honesty and that includes myself. Think about the last time you were brutally honest to someone or about something. How did that work out for you? Did they smile and thank you for that honest refreshing take about whatever you said? Uh no. If they didn’t out right get mad they did it passive aggressively.

I’m telling you that honesty just isn’t the best policy some of the time. This is why the little white lie was invented. This is why we as people have mastered the art of manipulation! Because if it were as simple, painless and easy as just saying it then it would have been said!

For example, lets say you have a friend. Or lets say you are a teacher and you have a student and every time you see them and they come to your class, they stink. What do you do? Tell an 8-year-old that they stink? No you can’t do that. So what do you do? Tell her parents? How, without offending them? Exactly!

We as people then start critically thinking about how we can solve this problem and this is where the manipulating comes in. Now if it were me, I would just coax one of the other students to tell her she stinks and that way the problem gets solved. Students usually succumb to peer pressure, especially as and when it pertains to something like hygiene and that way you don’t get in trouble or ruffle feathers if you say it. Everyone knows kids are honest and will say everything. But hey, that’s just me.

Speaking of honest kids, kids are the most honest creatures on the earth. If you’re ugly or fat, a kid will tell you to your face with no sugar coating it. Kids have no filter and haven’t really learned how to implement little white lies. The only lies they learn in the beginning are ones that benefit them.

And fellas this also goes for no-brainers like comfirming your woman’s negative statements about her body. LIE!! If she asks if she looks fat and she does look fat, LIE! Even if she begs you to be honest. LIE!!!

This skill at manipulating and telling little white lies is a skill learned later in life as we see kids aren’t really capable of telling them. So simply put, there’s a way to say everything, even the worst things. But still, there are some things that never should be said. Sometimes honesty isn’t the best policy. Sometimes we should value people and their feelings more than the truth because in the end, that is what’s really important.

And if you haven’t learned in certain situations, you will. LIE fool LIE!!

That’s it for this week. Don’t forget to cue the Sir Charles.

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Cue The Rant: Men Are NOT Mind Readers

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Okay, I don’t know where this fallacy started with women thinking men are supposed to know something without actually telling us. This is starting to become a reoccurring theme in my life as of late. Ladies, I know I’ve said this a lot but it’s worth repeating again. Men are simple, simple, simple creatures. We don’t do anything that hasn’t worked, everything we do has a reason and everything we do is usually pragmatic. And that simply means that it’s logical and makes sense.

Cue the Rant!

First off, since we as men are very logical and sense-seeking creatures, as and when making decisions we don’t use emotions too heavily, if at all. That’s the fundamental difference between men and woman and that’s why there are some things about one another that we’ll never understand.

Ladies when it comes to your needs and wants, I’m here to tell you more effective communication would be greatly appreciated and I think I can speak for all of the fellas.

Fellas, how many times have you been arguing with your lady and she whips out “you were supposed to know!” but she hasn’t told anybody anything? Does it drive you crazy too? It drives me insane. How can we know if you haven’t said anything?!?

If you’re hungry, say it. If you want something, ask for it. The last thing in the world I have time for is games and back and forth. And while we’re on the subject of being open and honest about needs and desires, I wanted to point out that the reason you know all of our wants and desires is because we tell you. We are masters at being honest and telling it like it is and how we feel. So much so that we men (well us smart men) actually know we can’t be totally honest and inhibited when it comes to certain subjects because we know you won’t take that well so we avoid it all together. I could go on all day about women and male honesty but that’s another rant for another day.

The bottom line is that we aren’t mind readers ladies. Unless we’ve got a heads up or it’s a given (like knowing your birthday), don’t expect us to know because that’s how you feel. It’s not hard for us to pick up or learn either. Just tell us. Communication is the key.

That’s it for this week. Don’t forget to cue the Sir Charles.

Image Credit: Single Black Male

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Cue The Rant: Stop The Cycle

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When people know better they do better.

It’s that simple.

So as and when you see people doing things that you find inexplicable, remember that we all were not brought up the same. Everyone has a different set of values or rules they grew up with or lived by. I’m not talking to those people. I’m talking about those of us who know better. Who might have come out of precarious circumstances but have sense enough to know what’s right. It’s up to us to break the cycle.

So your father wasn’t around. It’s definitely a big deal and has a huge barring on your life whether you know it or not and I’m definitely not downplaying it, but if you were still lucky enough to have others around you who picked up the slack to help raise you, you should make it your personal priority to change the way things happened with you. And that means ensuring that you provide your children with what you didn’t have to prevent the cycle from starting again. So mothers and fathers, stick around. It makes a difference.

Stopping the cycle also applies to relationships. We’ve all been hurt before when it comes to relationships, but that’s not a reason to put your significant other through the pain that your ex caused you. Complicated subjects like trust issues are brought over from past relationships and experiences. If you current boyfriend or girlfriend hasn’t actually GIVEN you a reason not to trust him or her then it’s simply unfair for you not to trust them. It isn’t their fault. It’s yours. If you make them pay, the only thing it’s going to do is pass that negativity right along after they get rid of you.

You can also stop the cycle when it comes to interactions with people and in everyday life. Don’t judge me, but as a sort of social experiment maybe 6 months ago I decided I was going to be super nice to people for a few weeks to see how things turned out. One of the reasons I decided to do this was because people constantly used tell me I looked mean. I really didn’t understand why they thought that because I was truly just walking around with my regular face on. But apparently I looked menacing so I decided to change it up. And low and behold I was genuinely shocked at how people were so much nicer and receptive to a super positive attitude, even if they started the encounter with me in a foul mood. My great mood rubbed off on them and made the interaction so much better.

I said all that to say this. When you know better, it’s our responsibility to do better. You’ve heard the phrase “God takes care of fools and babies”… Well that’s because they don’t know any better. So think before you act. Think about how you interactions with others can impact not only your day but also their day. Stop making your current pay for ex’s mistakes. Stop leaving your children to be cared for by others because you don’t think your fit. They need you. Stop the cycle. If you don’t stop the cycle, it will become an endless cycle of perpetuating negativity. It takes just a small bit of effort and personal responsibility.

That’s it for this week. Don’t forget to cue the Sir Charles.

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Cue The Rant: Rod’s Solution To Jackson’s Crime Problem

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The recent surge in crime around Jackson has caused a bit of a stir in the city. Truth is, crime has been apart of the City of Jackson for a long time, it’s just become more visible in the recent weeks because of the back-to-back tragedies we’ve faced.

While logging on to social media and watching the news, I’ve seen people give their opinions on what can be done to help or curb the violence. Some were good ideas but some were just stupid and they really ticked me off.

“Cue the Rant!”

First of all, the crime problem is extensive and complicated so it can’t be solved with simple solutions. Like losing weight, lowering city crime doesn’t happen overnight. It takes months and years to lose weight as does lowering the crime rate. It only begins after a lifestyle change. So changes as significant as crime problems will take real time after you address the problem in a multitude of ways. Simply put, things like crime problems are complicated and cannot be solved overnight. They take a bunch of solutions that take time to show results.

I saw some people say that the best way to solve the crime problem is to have more police and stiffer penalties for offenders. The problem isn’t as simple as making harsher penalties. You don’t get the best results by finding cures to terrible diseases. The best way to stop diseases is to prevent them from starting. The truth of the matter is that harsher penalties don’t deter criminals. Criminals and people who commit crimes don’t keep up with the amount of years a crime will get you. Most of the crimes, especially the ones we’ve been seeing in the past few weeks, are passion or heat of the moment crimes. They were done irrationally and out of rash emotions.

Education is the real key to fixing the crime problem in Jackson. There is truth in this statement I’m about to make:

“When people know better, they do better.”

People don’t plan on being killers or thieves or criminals. Things happen out of circumstances where they have to make decisions to survive. And sometimes people have just never literally seen better. Most people take for granted that they have two parents or even one good parent who taught them good values and showed them things through their actions. Many people haven’t seen someone go to college, grow up to be a doctor or lawyer or do anything positive, so how can you expect them do strive for better if they’ve never even seen it?

It all starts with educating the youth while giving older people opportunities and showing them ways to be successful. People who don’t know better start with a disadvantage and in order for the world to be a better place everyone must work to help everyone to get on the same level and achieve their dreams.

That’s it for this week. Don’t forget to cue the Sir Charles.

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Cue The Rant: Expand Your Circle

RoderickCaricatureYou’ve heard the phrase “It’s not about what you know, it’s really about who you know.” Well I never understood those words before I graduated college, but after I got out into the real world and especially since I started my own business, I’ve really seen the meaning of that phrase.

Cue the Rant!

You need to take those words I said in the phrase above extremely literal. How do you think George W. Bush became president? How is Kim Kardashian famous? How are half of these rappers hot now? All those questions have the same general answer. It was all in who they knew. Since who you know is so important, I really feel it’s important to know as many people as you can.

Most people pigeonhole themselves without knowing it. You see it all the time. Black entrepreneurs and business owners that only have black or only a certain type of client like old, male or female they cater to. And vice versa. Jess hates as and when I say this but the point I’m trying to get across is valid. I have a phrase I say to her and it goes “You need to get some white people on your team.” Now while I don’t necessarily think you need a white person to succeed, the big point I’m trying to make is you need to diversify your team. They all don’t have to be young and white or black or all old and mature. Go after everybody and all of those different experiences and voices will make you stronger.

And this goes for real life too. Being a well-rounded person in general help makes you a better person. I can’t stand people who aren’t expanding their circle or experiences, especially entrepreneurs and young people. I see so many young people like me graduate with a degree, put in a few job apps and expect people to come running to find them. I’m sorry but if you haven’t realized, this is not how it works anymore. In this day and age, especially with the internet and social media, you’ve got to learn to market yourselves, research and GET TO KNOW PEOPLE.

Remember the realist piece of advice I ever gave you (because this is). It’s all about WHO YOU KNOW. Not about what you know. Not about what you’ve done. It’s not about what degree you have. Hell, you don’t even have to be supremely talented at whatever it is you do. Because we all know talented people who squandered it because they had no direction or knew what to do with it. You do need people and you CAN’T do this thing called life alone. So get out there and network, shake some hands and introduce yourself. Oh, and get you a mentor. Someone who will always have your back and look out for your best interests. That’s the real true key to success.

Forget everything else you heard. What you just read changed your life and you didn’t even know it.

That’s it for this week. Don’t forget to cue the Sir Charles.