Have you ever waited on something even though you weren’t sure that it would actually happen? It’s extremely uncomfortable, right? Well, that discomfort is my current situation.
I wrote last week about how blah I was feeling and not much has changed since then. I’ve had some up and down moments but my inability to pretend like something has been resolved as and when it hasn’t is keeping me from being my normal self.
I’m not hard to please (never have been…I like the simple things) and I have lots of empathy for others. Not many experiences we go through in life are as cut and dry as we would like them to be and I get that. What I don’t get is when people don’t handle their business…as if they are waiting on some miracle to happen that will make it easier for them. Life isn’t easy and we don’t have control like we think we do. The very things that we try to delay, end up happening anyway and the outcome is usually more difficult than it had to be because we didn’t handle our business from the jump…because we straddled the fence for too long.
This thing, moment, resolution, whatever it is that you wanna call it that I’m waiting for doesn’t seem like its going to happen. Mostly because if it was going to, it would have happened already AND because my gut is telling me that there are still some missing details that I don’t know. I could be wrong. But I could also be right.
The big lesson I’m learning through all this is that no matter how much we want to, in most cases, we will never know all there is we need to know before making a decision that will cause a change in our lives. That’s where being vulnerable, having faith and taking a chance comes in. Once you make a decision, you have to commit to it.
I’m not a half-asser. I’m either all the way in or all the way out. I like boundaries, I like understandings and once I commit to an idea or a person, you can count Jessica all the way in. Players can’t play for one team during the first half of the game and then switch to the other team for the last half. The other players would be ready to fight!
The same thing happens in life. You can’t be wishy washy and think everything will be peachy. It just doesn’t work like that. The Bible even tells us that one day we will have to pick a side and we’d best do it before it’s too late.
“I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth! ” (Revelation 3:15-16 NLT)
You can apply that to everything we go through in life, especially with interpersonal relationships.
Maybe it’s the Scorpio in me, but I’m always either all in or all out. Time doesn’t wait on me (or anyone) to make decisions. I have to be a woman and handle mine.