Actions Really Do Speak Louder Than Words + Giving Yourself A Reality Check


Every now and then we all need a little dose of reality. Sometimes the people around us aren’t really who they say they are, sometimes things aren’t as bad as they seem and other times we need to just give up on certain fantasies that will never happen.

I have a very good friend who encouraged me to give myself a reality check. I have this very bad habit of seeing people the way I want them to be instead of paying attention to their actions (read about it in The Jessica Diaries). It gets my feelings hurt a lot. Even though I tend to always learn the hard way, actions really do speak louder than words. What a person says to you should line up with how they behave. It’s that simple but more often than not, we get caught up in our feelings instead of facing the facts – and not just with people but in our daily lives too.


It’s important to note that while we’re reality checkin’ if we’re going to evaluate the actions of others, it’s only fair that we evaluate our own. Here’s how you can snap back into reality and figure out what, if any, changes need to be made within yourself and your environment.

Know What A Reality Check Is: A reality check is simply a reminder of what is going on in the real world, not the world in your head. Sometimes we can be overly positive or overly negative – either of these can distort our perceptions of reality and cause us to ignore what’s really going on in our lives or around us.

Stop Assuming: Ever heard how assuming things makes an ass out of you? Well, I would have to say that most of the time that’s true. This goes back to our feelings about people, things or situations getting in the way of the reality of what or who they are. Just because you “feel” or “think” a certain way doesn’t mean that you’re right or that you’ve figured something out. Take a step back (in other words, get out of your feelings) and observe. Did that person that calls you a friend do something that a friend wouldn’t do? Instead of trying to rationalize their actions, look at the bigger picture. Maybe they aren’t really your friend. Accept the reality and move on. This is the same in a relationship. When a person who says they love you doesn’t act like they love you…it means that they probably don’t, which brings me to my next point.

Don’t Make Excuses: If a person is constantly behaving a certain way, the ONLY reason is because that is who they are and/or that is how they really feel. Don’t make excuses for their behavior (or yours if you’re the problem). Making excuses only encourages the behavior and keeps you in place, no progress is made either way.

Face The Facts: The last thing my friend told me to do was to face the facts. A fact is something that is indisputable, actual and it exists. What do you know for a fact? Whether its a big fact or a small fact, it’s all you need to know in order to respond to a situation.

I hope these tips help you to (in Future’s voice) get them squares up out yo’ circle…or stop being the square in someone else’s circle! Have any experience with this? Share it with us in the comment section below!


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